


Outset

by orkestrations



Series: Gender is Hard 'verse [27]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Family Feels, Family Issues, Gen, Nonbinary Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:28:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21537454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orkestrations/pseuds/orkestrations
Summary: Roman goes out to lunch with their stepmom. It goes... okay? Except it's. Not quite. Except. Except, except, except.So they talk to their friend, the other one with family issues in their group.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Series: Gender is Hard 'verse [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/938943
Comments: 12
Kudos: 79





	Outset

**Author's Note:**

> This is the GIHV, so pronouns are as follows:  
> Roman: they/them  
> Virgil: they/them  
> Patton: he/him
> 
> Trigger warnings for this installment: Roman alludes to terrible teachers, Roman gets angry, there's just a lot Roman emotions okay, along with family and stepmom issues. Virgil briefly mentions their past abuse and suicidal thoughts.

“I’m glad you agreed to have lunch with me.”

Roman looked up into the unbearably friendly face of their step-mother. She was all high cheekbones, soft red hair, and round glasses, exactly the type of woman their mother had been before their father had gotten to her.

“Yeah, uh, no problem,” they replied, because that was easier than thinking about their mom.

Idonea had picked them up from school and driven them to the downtown Thai food place. The little restaurant had fast service, friendly waiters, and delicious food and was a favorite lunch spot for the people who worked in the area and for the nearby high school, which happened to not be Roman’s, since Roman’s was on the south side of the town, not the north side. They were waiting on their food now, having just ordered.

“So, you’re in the school play. Is it your first time in one?”

Roman nodded and then shook their head. “No, I’ve been in every production since I started high school. A lot of community musicals, too. I actually played Marius in last year’s production of Les Mis.”

“Oh, that’s great!” Idonea’s eyes lit up. Was that genuine interest, or was she just a good actor? “I was in a handful of school productions when I was in high school. Are you planning on pursuing theatre after high school, as well?”

“Of course!” How could they not? Theatre was a part of who they were. You could take the Roman out of the theatre, but you couldn’t take the theatre out of the Roman.

But a moment after they said that, they wished they hadn’t. What if she told their father? Their father, who was expecting them to go into business and be just like him (despite the fact that he had never taken an active interest in his kid’s life, or raising his kid, or, or, or, you get the idea).

Idonea was quiet for a few moments, and Roman’s shoulders started tensing up as they prepared for the worst. They looked away and down to the carpet, which was dark and patterned with green and purple and blue.

At last, she spoke. “I’m… glad that you’re brave enough to pursue your passions.” They looked up, surprised, and then over at her. She was looking down at her hands, which were fidgeting with her napkin.

“…Thanks,” they replied, a little shocked. “You said you were in some of your productions in high school? Which ones?”

Idonea shook her head and looked up. “Mostly small plays, since we didn’t have the budget. Mostly Shakespeare, too, since people were generally more inclined to come see them.” She shrugged. “We never got to put on full musicals. Out of curiosity, does your school have a live pit or just recordings?”

“A live pit,” Roman replied. “Mr. Sharp and Mr. O’Mara work together on that, and Mr. Sharp picks out the students he thinks would be a best fit in the pit. Someone who graduated a few years ago and was in all the pits is on some Broadway sub lists now; Mr. O’Mara and Mr. Sharp like to brag about her a lot.”

“Oh, that’s neat,” Idonea said. “For a smallish-town school, your arts program is impressive.”

Roman shrugged. “It’s because a whole bunch of really great people paved the way. Aside from some teacher problems, it’s actually a good school.”

“Teacher problems?”

Roman slammed their mouth shut and looked anywhere but at Idonea.

“Yeah, there are some, uh, terrible teachers? At my school? And the admin is terrible and hates us and refuses to do anything about it? But, I mean, it’s a good school, other than that.”

“What do you mean by terrible teachers?”

Roman looked up. Idonea was leaning forward, her brow creased in worry. The two of them stared at each other for a couple moments and thoughts spun themselves out in Roman’s head. They looked away, making a wiggly shoulder shrugging motion.

“It’s… just bad teachers, nothing that we can’t work around.”

“Roman,” she said, her voice turning dark and harsh. “What exactly do you mean by terrible teachers?”

“It’s, it’s nothing, okay? It’s really nothing!” (It really wasn’t nothing, but she probably wouldn’t pay enough attention to find out, just like their dad, just like their mom used to be, and their dad’s other ex-wife…) “Some of them are just kind of mean, and maybe kind of a little bigoted but it’s nothing dangerous.” They glanced up out of the corner of their eyes to see her frowning. They sat there, quietly, for a few moments, and she opened her mouth to respond when the waitress walked over with both of their food, setting the plates down on the table.

Roman didn’t find out what Idonea had been going to say.

Later that day, after school and rehearsal and Denny’s with the cast, Roman sat down on their bed, wrapped a blanket (one of those blankets with the two layers of polar fleece knotted together that Katy had made him for the general winter holiday season, one side rainbow-patterned and the other side Beauty and the Beast patterned) around their shoulders, pulled their phone out, and sent a text.

_Me_

_Sent: 8:54 pm_

_I went out for lunch with my stepmom today._

They didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

_V_

_Received: 8:54 pm_

_well how did it go?_

Roman had to think about it for a few moments. How _did_ it go? It wasn’t a disaster, but the dangling conversation from right before their food got there had soured the rest of the outing.

_Me_

_Sent: 8:56 pm_

_It was… okay? Very awkward! Very very awkward. Apparently she’s an ex-theatre kid, of the Shakespearian inclination._

_V_

_Received: 8:56 pm_

_common ground’s good. awkward’s normal. what else happened?_

_Me_

_Sent: 8:57 pm_

_Well, there was this conversation. It didn’t get resolved. And I… don’t know what to do about it. It was… I accidentally mentioned our terrible teacher situation? And she got weird about it._

_V_

_Received: 8:57 pm_

_weird in what way?_

Roman frowned and scratched at their head for a moment, trying to find the best way to put her weirdness into words.

_Me_

_Sent: 8:58 pm_

_She was weird like. I don’t know. Like she was mad? But she didn’t look mad, and didn’t really act mad._

The next reply took a while to come, and Roman spent that time with his leg jiggling and he switched back and forth, endlessly, between Twitter and Tumblr.

_V_

_Received: 9:03 pm_

_this is just a guess, but maybe she’s worried. did you explain what’s happening? because there’s a lot that can be extrapolated from the phrase “terrible teacher situation”. and people can act kind of angry-ish when they’re worried?_

Immediately, they sent back:

_Me_

_Sent: 9:03 pm_

_Why would she be WORRIED_

_V_

_Received: 9:04 pm_

_i can think of a few reasons. have you considered that maybe she’s worrying because she cares about you?_

_Me_

_Sent: 9:04 pm_

_Cares about me? She barely knows me!_

_V_

_Received: 9:05 pm_

_archer and seraphina barely know me, and they still take the time to text me random shit and make sure i’m doing okay. i still cared about and worried about you back when we were just starting to talk. just because you don’t know someone that well doesn’t mean you can’t care for them._

But… she had married their dad. She hadn’t bothered to get to know them for a year and a half. Why was she starting now, of all times? Why did she have any right to worry when she hadn’t cared for a year and a half?

They bit their lip and looked at the text conversation. Should they say that? How much was too much to say?

For a few minutes, they sat there, staring at their written text until finally, finally they hit send. No take-backs now.

_Me_

_Sent: 9:08 pm_

_Why now? What right does she have to start caring NOW when she’s been married to him for a year and a half? What, did she JUST realize I existed? That I’m, like, actually his kid? Why does she only start caring now?_

_V_

_Received: 9:09 pm_

_so you wish she’d cared sooner? or not at all?_

_Me_

_Sent: 9:09 pm_

_I wish she’d been like all the other ones. They never bothered to care._

_V_

_Received: 9:10 pm_

_i thought that about patton, for a while. still do sometimes._

Roman twitched backwards a little in surprise at that message. What? That… didn’t compute.

_Me_

_Sent: 9:10 pm_

_What do you mean?_

_V_

_Received: 9:13 pm_

_i mean. when i first met him, i wished he didn’t care. that he was like all the other people i’d met. i’d met a lot of people who probably recognized an abused person when they saw one, or who saw the way that devon and the rest of the band were around me, and they didn’t give a shit. well, some of them did, but not like patton. and for a long time, even after i moved with him, i wished he hadn’t. i mean, things would be easier if i was dead, you know? i doubt that’s entirely applicable to your current situation, but you’re probably thinking things would be easier if she didn’t care and you could just go on ignoring her, except for when you can’t (unless i’m just putting words in your mouth? if i’m wrong and assuming too much please let me know)_

Well, that was a whole novel-length text. No wonder it had taken three minutes for them to write.

_Me_

_Sent: 9:14 pm_

_No, you’re right. It would be easier if I could just ignore her. And… I guess I could. I could just cut it off here. It would be easy. It’s not like we’ve really gotten anywhere._

_V_

_Received: 9:14 pm_

_you’re right. but is that really what you want to do? and it’s… it’s okay if your answer is yes. you don’t have to have a relationship with her if you don’t want to. we’ll support you no matter what you choose._

_Me_

_Sent: 9:14 pm_

_We?_

_V_

_Received: 9:15 pm_

_i haven’t told patton anything you’ve told me, but i’m not that great at keeping things from him. probably not a surprise to hear this, but we talk about you and logan a lot._

_Me_

_Sent: 9:15 pm_

_~Le Gasp~ you talk about us? BeHIND our BaCKS? How DARE_

_V_

_Received: 9:15 pm_

_yea i know we’re really terrible people :\ what are you gonna do about it, prince prissy-pants?_

_but seriously. whatever you decide to do, patton and i are behind you 100%._

Roman couldn’t hold back their laugh at the most recent nickname, and then sighed. What _were_ they going to decide to do?

They didn’t know.

_Me_

_Sent: 9:17 pm_

_I think I need more time to figure it out._

_V_

_Received: 9:18 pm_

_sounds about right_

_[Caoimhe and pittie playdate.jpg] [Caoimhe and pittie playdate 2. jpg] [Caoimhe and pittie playdate 3.jpg]_

_here are some dog pictures to help_

_Me_

_Sent: 9:18 pm_

_Ah! Those are the cutest puppies! Caoimhe is so cute! Such a good girl! Give her cuddles for me!_

_V_

_Received: 9:18 pm_

_[thumbs up emoji]_

So maybe Roman didn’t know exactly what they wanted to do next. But that was okay. Whatever they chose to do would be okay, because they’d always have the support of their friends, both their IRL friends and Virgil and Patton. They had time to decide.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! this's been sitting half-finished in my drafts for ages lmao.  
> If you enjoyed it, please kudos and leave me a comment letting me know what you thought (if you want to!)  
> With love,  
> Kestrel Daniel  
> (they/them, he/him, fae/faer)


End file.
